The atmosphere in the kitchen was tense. Once again, his anger had taken over and the storm on his face showed that there was more to come.
Her body tensed as her heart rate increased getting ready for a fight. Why can’t we have a normal disagreement with a healthy discussion? She thought.
Movement in her belly reminded her of the little one yet to be born. She squared her shoulders and walked into the living room ready to defend herself. “You cannot treat me like this!”
With one quick movement he grabbed both of her upper arms and shoved her to the floor then straddled her. His face red with rage caused her to keep her next words silent.
“You’re making this worse by just talking!” His tight grip kept her pinned to the carpet.
Then he did something he had never done before. He spat in her face like she was garbage. His lip curled as he stared at her with cold, hard eyes.
She tried hard not to show her hurt but one tear snuck out at the corner of her eye and rolled down the side of her face. Then as if he were satisfied, he let go of her and left the house.
She turned to her side wrapping the little one between her legs and body. Tears began to stream down her cheeks as the sobbing came hard spewing out the hurt and disappointment.
Didn’t anybody love her? Would she ever find peace and joy that she could share with her unborn son? Where was God in all of this?
I have an amazing life, but it wasn’t always great. One of those bad moments is the story I just wrote. Yes, that was me. I don’t talk a lot about those dark moments in my past, but sometimes it is needed.
I spent most of that morning cleaning trying to keep myself busy so that I wouldn’t cry again but the recent fight continued to linger in the house making it difficult to change my mood.
I will never forget that day. Not because of how awful it was but because of what happened next.
The doorbell rang. I remember seeing a flower shop delivery van parked in the driveway. When I opened the door, a woman stood on the doorstep with a small flower arrangement. “Hi. I have flowers for Gwen, is that you?”
I nodded yes and thanked her for the delivery. Who would send me flowers? I had thought. I pulled out the card and read, “Just a little reminder that I love you and God loves you.”
Of course, I busted out in tears again. The flowers and message were from one of my aunts. How did God do that? My aunt didn’t know about today’s episode, but she had felt led to send me a little sunshine to break up the lingering dark clouds that I couldn’t get rid of by myself.
I needed God in a bad way. So, God showed up and told me just how precious and loved I was by sending me a little joy. Wow, and did He ever do it in an amazing way. Just remembering that moment still brings tears to my eyes.
This is how much God loves me.
Why tell this story, you may ask? Well, I need to remember the difficult times I have been through where God showed Himself, telling me that he was with me and that I was loved. Even when my eyes couldn’t see Him, He was still there. He is always faithful.
So, when you are going through a hard time in your life just remember, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. It may seem like God is absent but He’s not. He is standing right next to you waiting for you to call out, “God, Help Me!” HE WILL NEVER FAIL YOU.
Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
If you get a chance, listen to the song, Remember by Lauren Daigle.