The weather was exceptionally warm for an early spring day with a hint of hyacinth scent in the light breeze that played with the girl’s hair.
Tabitha crossed her feet and swung them back and forth underneath the wooden bench that she sat on. Her hands were folded tightly in her lap while anxiously waiting for Ethan. Tabitha had prepared a special lunch for the two of them.
Biting her bottom lip, she thought about the note she had left in his backpack yesterday asking him to meet her in the park for lunch and wondered if she had been too forward. Letting out a sigh, Tabitha silently reassured herself that she was doing the right thing because if she didn’t express her feelings soon, she was going to explode.
They had been best friends ever since they were children, always doing stuff together, but something changed. When exactly her feelings for Ethan became romantic, she couldn’t tell but what she knew was that just being buddies wasn’t going to cut it for her anymore.
Tabitha’s head swung to the left when she heard Ethan’s voice. Her heart rate increased as she waited for him to come around the bushes. Her smile bloomed with the build of excitement to be near him and hear him talk about his day.
As she saw Ethan, Tabitha stood waiting for the hug she always got when they got together. But something was off. There was a girl holding Ethan’s hand or was he holding hers.
Ethan raised his free hand and waved. “Hey Tabitha!”
Tabitha’s shoulder sunk and the smile on her lips now formed an O as she desperately searched for an excuse as to why the two appeared to be enjoying themselves while walking towards her.
“Tabitha, I could have called to tell you that I wasn’t going to be able to eat lunch with you, but I wanted to swing by and introduce you to my girlfriend. This is Shiela.” Ethan looked like he was going to bust a button off his shirt. Unaware of the growing storm in front of him he put his arm around the pretty blond-haired girl.
Tabitha knew she needed to show some courtesy, but her emotions got away from her and before she could snatch the words back, she verbally barfed all over Ethen. “That’s all fine and all but I would have preferred a text. I went to a lot of trouble to make lunch. But I see that you have other priorities. I mean, I usually eat a lot, so I’ll just eat lunch by myself and continue my non-diet to fatness. Not that anyone around here cares!”
Before Ethan had a chance to respond, Tabitha snatched up her lunch box, made a hasty about-face and ran to the parking lot where her car waited. Not even Ethan’s pleading words in her wake could stop her because she had crossed the line of now making a total fool of herself.
Once she was in her sedan and was reassured that Ethan hadn’t followed her, she then let the pent-up tears spill over onto her cheeks. “Why is love so painful especially when it’s not reciprocated?” Tabitha agonized.
“Jealousy is that pain which a man feels from the apprehension that he is not equally beloved by the person whom he entirely loves.” – Joseph Addison
I think maybe we all have experience jealousy. It’s a strong emotion that can pack a lot of envy, resentment, and protectiveness. As John Dryden puts it, “Jealousy is the jaundice of the soul.”
Jealousy is a painful feeling to experience, and I find that this emotion can bubble up inside of me so fast that it’s hard to squelch the desire to react to the pain I’m feeling. Recently I read Exodus 20:5, talking about how God is a jealous God.
It struck me funny that the almighty being of the universe would feel jealous about anything. But in reading more scriptures about it, we do indeed have a God who gets jealous. Does this mean He has jaundice of the soul?
Craig Brian Larson wrote it nicely in his article called, Jealous Love. “God’s jealousy is the force that motivates him to confront anything or anybody that prevents him from fulfilling his most profound wishes. God’s love for us is measured by the potency of his wrath whenever this connection is threatened. God’s nature is jealous, and his identity is jealous. He is fiercely protective of our relationship with him and our affection for him.”
WOW! So, God loves me so much that if something else takes me away from having quality time with Him then He gets jealous? I would have thought that God would be indifferent of how I spent my time with Him. But that is not the case. God has put so much time and love in me that when I don’t reciprocate and maintain a healthy interaction with the Almighty God then he misses me and becomes jealous of what ever is stealing me away from Him.
God is jealous for your heart, not because he is petty or insecure, but because he loves you. . . He loves you too much to share with you. ― Kyle Idleman
This is awesome. Who else adores us with such passion, jealous of wanting to spend time with us not because He’s petty but because He simply loves us beyond our imagination!
What about you? The greatest being in existence loves you so much that He’s jealous for your love, attention, worship, and affection. How does that make you feel?
Lord, thank you for reminding me of how much you love me and how much you miss me when I don’t make you a priority. May I always be conscientious of the need you have for me to spend time with you.
“Love doesn’t make the world go ‘round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.” – Franklin P. Jones
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