I have this seedling birch tree that has been in a small pot for about five years. Why I haven’t planted it in the ground is a mystery to me. Maybe I’m still trying to find a great spot for it.
There have been times that I’ll look at it and the leaves are wilting telling me that I have forgotten to water it. It sits on the back porch and waits for me to care for it. It is probably root bound by now. The poor tree has been abused and neglected. I’m amazed at its perseverance to live.
This tree reminds me of my earlier years. There were many droughts causing me to feel brittle like paint on an old house that is dry and peeling off. Not much life there.
What dried me up? I think disappointments and broken trust.
“Trust is fragile, don’t break it; once broken it will never come back in its original shape.” – Invajy
Trust is the firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something. That seems easy enough but sometimes it can take a lifetime to build up trust. It’s a strong word but very fragile. It’s like glass, once it’s been broken you can put it back together, but the cracks are still visible.
During those drought years I learned a lot about myself and how resilient I could be. Despite the broken trust of people around me I still had one true entity that never changed.
Matthew 6:26 – Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?
Somehow some way, God stuck by my side during these trying years. If I slipped, He was there to catch me. When I cried, He consoled me. When I thought my life would end before the day had completed, there was a message of encouragement to keep me alive into the next day. How God did it I’ll never know but looking back on those years I’m ever thankful for the Heavenly Father who protected me.
If someone puts their trust in you, consider it a rare gift that should be handled with the upmost importance. Because, once it’s broken, even if by a small mistake, it taints the trust always leaving a big “what if” hanging in the air. This is when walls get built to protect a painful heart that has been deceived. These walls sometimes become impenetrable making it very difficult to break down.
I built some massive walls around me. In fact, new people in my life had to camp out in tents outside my stronghold until I felt like I could let them in. The process of trust can still be difficult at times for me, but I feel like I’m better with trust than I was.
“You must trust and believe in people, or life becomes impossible.” —Anton Chekhov
Broken trust is not easy to overcome but it can be done. It’s called forgiveness. This is another word that is difficult to accomplish. It took a long time for me to get to a point where I could just say the words, “I forgive you.” The actual forgiveness took time, a lot of time. I mean years.
I’m in a better place with my life with a lot to be thankful for. Those years were tough but I’m tougher now and have a better understanding of trust. This world is full of broken damaged people trying to live their lives the best they can. If trust can be held at a high standard and followed through, then it becomes something treasured that will last a lifetime.
“The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.” –Ernest Hemingway
Today I stand as a woman who was broken but now healed. I still have issues with trust at times, but God continues to stand by my side. There are moments that I may grab his hand for extra support but I’m one hundred percent confident in my trust in God.
“To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved.” —George MacDonald