“Dad, please, can we spend the night in the treehouse?”  My sister and I plastered on the cutest smiles we could muster up, you know, the precious facial expression a kid uses to try and sway someone.

When we were kids my father built us a round octagon treehouse in our backyard.   Dad was always building things and we were thrilled when we found out he was designing a playhouse that would hang from a big branch suspended by chains.   The structure included a ladder secured to the trunk of the tree and once done it was painted green.  It was an awesome treehouse.

After displaying our adorable facial expressions, our father agreed to let my sister and I sleep in the treehouse for the night.  We had great expectations of being out under the stars and having fun.  We were so excited.  After toting our sleeping bags, pillows, and other items up to the mini house, dad left us to our own accord after making sure we were set with a flashlight and a plea to get some sleep.

Of course, we talked some but then finally we started to drift off to sleep.  Then our peaceful quiet night was interrupted when my sister says, “Hey!  There’s something in my sleeping bag!”   I grabbed the flashlight and pointed the beam of light in her direction. Sure enough, it was a bug and it was not alone.  As I raised the light to scan the wall of the house, we discovered that we were being invaded by an army of earwigs!  This was not cool.  The insects were advancing on their attack as they came over the wall of the house, crashing our night out in the suspended treehouse.

Well what else could we do but holler out for, “DAD!”  Both Denise and I were not sharing our little abode with these pesky creatures, so we bailed.  Our father came out to rescue us, but we didn’t get the response we expected.  I thought he would clear out the insects and make it safe for us so we could continue our night outside.  Nope, our hopes were dashed in a blink of an eye when he told us to go back up and get our stuff and then go in the house and get to bed.

The stupid bugs ruined our night out in the treehouse.  This is not what we expected.

Disappointments are old hat for me, situations that didn’t pan out to my liking.  It’s like reality gets a kick out of taking a big needle and popping my balloon of fantasy.

Recently I heard someone say, “The best way to avoid disappointment is to not expect anything.”  I’m sure there is some truth to this quote, but is this how I want to live my life, not expecting anything?

What if I never have dreams and just rolled with whatever situation I came upon?  Nah.  Expectations allow me to plan, prepare, and set goals.  This is important for growth and maturity, which I always need more of.  For example, it’s essential for me to enjoy life to its fullest while having fun doing it!  That’s a good goal, right?

Let your dreams outgrow the shoes of your expectations. – Ryunosuke Satoro

Having healthy expectations gives me a sense of motivation and direction helping me to meet certain standards.  For example, at work I am expected to be dependable and trustworthy.  This creates a good work environment and maintains good working relationships.

Expectation:  A strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future.  A belief that someone will or should achieve something.

Expectations can be high or low, reasonable or unreasonable, good or bad.  My expectations are not always correct because of the flaws in my logic and the bias of hope and desire.  There must be a nice balance that can urge me to be a better person and keep me inspired to achieve goals.  No plan means no purpose, no motivation, and no hope.

Don’t lower your expectations to meet your performance.  Raise your level of performance to meet your expectations.  Expect the best of yourself, and then do what is necessary to make it a reality. – Ralph Marston

A lot of times I want results “NOW!”  Ha!  That rarely happens for me.  I must allow for time and PATIENCE.  Eew, patience is not my favorite word.  Does wine happen overnight?  Nope.  Same thing with our goals.  Be realistic and make it an enjoyable adventure where you learn to appreciate the process along the way.

When I have expectations on mere assumptions this can be dangerous, but as I get older I am learning to base it on verifiable truth and to adapt to change while trying not to be too strict in the process.  This is something I may never master but I will continue to discover ways on how to be flexible.

If you accept the expectations of others, especially negative ones, then you never will change the outcome. – Michael Jordan

Sometimes it can be difficult to change what others expect of you.  Boundaries are good to have in place, be clear about your priorities and what is important to you.  The two-letter word “NO” is an option.  Maybe this is a good time to brush up on your negotiation skills.  You can always call a “Time Out”.

Forgive those who have harbored wrong expectations of you.  Don’t forget that people are imperfect and that we ALL need forgiveness.

Jeremiah 29:11 – “For I know the plans that I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.”

So, don’t judge yourself harshly if your expectations haven’t panned out.  This is life, pause and take a deep breath.  Remember that God has a special plan for your life and if you allow Him to show you, I promise the adventure will far exceed your great expectations!

It’s when ordinary people rise above the expectations and seize the opportunity that milestones truly are reached. – Mike Huckabee

 

Gwen

 

 

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