I remember when I was newly married a woman taught me how to cook spaghetti.
Deanna took her roll as a cook seriously and when I joined her in the kitchen on one of my visits, the stove was in full use covered with a pan on each element. The combination of four pots cooking with their ingredients created a large cloud of steam, a perfect setting for a facial treatment.
The sound of bubbling sauce and water lured me over to the stove and see what was cooking. I stretched to my tallest five three height and leaned over to see what was in the biggest pot. The stockpot revealed bubbling water pushing noodles around.
Deanna stood next to me. “Do you know how to tell when a noodle is done and ready to eat?”
I looked at her with a perplexed expression curious what her answer would be. Then taking a fork, she reached into the boiling pot of water and hooked a long round noodle. After pulling the string of pasta out of the water, she let it dangle there for a second then she grabbed it with her thumb and forefinger and threw it at the wall behind us.
Dumbfounded, I watched the noodle fly through the air as it hit its mark and stuck to what was probably a led painted sheetrock.
“Yep, it’s done!” Pleased with herself, she proceeded to remove the large pan off the stove to prepare the noodles for the meal.
I walked over to the wall where the noodle continued to stay secure as if now glued. I had never seen this process before. Looking at the surrounding wall, I could see a layer of dried substance as if this process of noodle checking had been done more than once.
Shaking my head I thought no wonder I’ve never seen this, my mother would never let any food particle touch the wall of her kitchen.
Noodles are not only amusing but delicious. – Julia Child
Sometimes it’s hard to navigate which path to take especially when making a life altering decision that affects your future. This could be a job opportunity, an education prospect, or a developing relationship that might turn into a lifetime commitment. Possibly this is about whether or not to have children, or an opportunity to move a long distance away from home for a once in a life time experience. It can be anything.
The big question is, how do I know which decision is right for me?
In my lifetime, I have encountered many cross roads that have required me to make a difficult choice ultimately affecting the future of my life. Sometimes it felt like I was throwing noodles at the wall. “Should I do this or not.” I struggled with knowing if I was making the right decision or not.
I tried different methods that would hopefully help me make good choices. One was from my father which is a good logical system where you take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. Then on the left you write all the positives and on the right all the negatives. This was helpful but I didn’t always use it.
“Sometimes, the right path is not the easiest one.” – Pocahontas
I’d seek out advice from my peers but their knowledge at times was lacking or not always in line with my beliefs but always good to hear another perspective.
Making a decision base off of my feelings was risky and not always a good indicator of a sound choice especially when the heart was involved in a relationship.
I was always encouraged to search God for answers. Well, how much praying can a person do while waiting for an answer? I’m not a patient person. And how do you know when God is giving you an answer?
“The path to our destination is not always a straight one. We go down the wrong road, we get lost, and we turn back. Maybe it doesn’t matter which road we embark on. Maybe what matters is that we embark.” – Barbara Hall
It was so frustrating to me. I felt like my ability to make wise decisions was not my forte and I was destined to always walk a hard rocky path in life.
Looking back, I’m sure there are several choices that I would change if I had the opportunity. But would I still be sitting here writing this blog with the wealth of knowledge and experience to talk about? Maybe my life would have been easier? I don’t know, it’s hard to say.
“Don’t follow the path. Blaze the trail.” – Jordan Belfort
What I do know is that every path I took I owned it. Regardless of how hard or difficult it got I pushed forward and tackled the situation. The reward was growth and maturity, increase knowledge about myself, and development of strength and self-confidence.
My part A advice for those who are struggling with what decision to make in their life, is look at your options. Gleen off information from your peers. Take time to listen to your elders, many times there are nuggets of wisdom that can be squirreled away in the memory bank.
Check your heart, meaning, is your decision based solely off of feelings or have you included your head, your logic source, in this choice.
But most of all stay in communication with God. Read the bible and allow quietness to surround you as you wait on God for answers. When I experienced these intimate moments, it gave me time to breath and give myself permission to stop my crazy thoughts. In these times my stress was reduced. I had better focus of my situation, and I had an improved positive mood. Ultimately, I had a healthier understanding of myself and was able to make a choice that I felt I could live with.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11
Despite what other people’s opinions may be, the ultimate decision maker was me regardless if it was a good one or not.
My part B advice is once you choose the path, go and walk boldly. Own that decision and learn all you can about who you are. If on this path you encounter difficulty, then use your resources. Seek advice from your peers, family, and friends. Lean on God for guidance and strength. It may be that you end up walking the path differently than you had originally planned. That’s okay. No matter what, you will succeed. In the end it will be beautiful.
So, throw as many noodles at the wall as you want. Just not at my mom’s wall! No matter what, whether good or bad, the path you choose will probably have obstacles on the way. Overgrown bushes to cut down. Washed out bridges to navigate. But while on these journeys, perseverance, resilience, and character will be cultivated. You’ll find that your priorities become redefined. You’ll discover growing empathy and compassion towards others. These attributes aren’t handed to you; they are earned through life experiences. Now this is what life is about.
“Create your own path then encourage others not to follow but to create their own.” – Marion Bekoe
Image by Claudio.arnese on iStock
Gwen
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