My mood was in the tank. I was tired, hungry, and fed up with my stressful work day. As I sat down, I reached for my EarPods and scrolled Spotify for some calming music. After selecting some acoustic guitar, the sound flowed into my ears.
My shoulders dropped as I took a deep breath in and out. How did my emotions get so wound up today? Why did I make a spectacle of myself and displayed a side of me that I prefer to keep hidden?
Tears brimmed at my eyelids telling me I’ve hit my max of emotional pressure and I was about ready to call it quits.
Questions started flooding my brain. Can I really do this job? Do people hate me? How much of an idiot did I make of myself. And it went on and on…
“A good day is a good day. A bad day is a good story.” — Glennon Doyle
Swiping a tear from my cheek, I hear a familiar song. Cornerstone.
Justifying a down time before I dive into a relentless charting session, I Googled cornerstone. It’s a structural starting point that was essential in guiding builders to form a stable and well aligned building. This stone was typically laid first and then when the structure was completed, the construction date, building’s name and often the names of the architect were carved into the cornerstone. Today steel is used in structures no longer needing a reference point of a corner stone where two walls meet. Many times, a decorative plaque will be placed on the front face near the entrance to commemorate the building.
As I read on, a cornerstone in a person’s life is the most essential foundational person, value, or belief that holds everything together and gives stability and direction.
I sat the phone down and leaned back in my chair. I certainly didn’t feel supported today. The feeling of being unfairly treated hung in the air like a bad stink and I was questioning the measure of my self-worth.
So, what is my cornerstone? What is the support I can fall back onto when the winds shift in a different direction. What is reality versus my imaginative destructive thoughts. Despite my need for adventure, my world seems to be spinning faster than I care to ride.
“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.” — Maya Angelou
The next song plays. Still. I close my eyes and listen to the cords as the musician strums on the instrument’s strings. Breath in and out. A memory of me being seven sitting in church. The picture is vivid as I see myself repeating the words of the pastor inviting Jesus into my heart and claiming Christ as my cornerstone. Now I have an internal plaque that commemorates the start of a new foundation, my reference point within me that has been steady and true throughout my life.
Deuteronomy 31:6 – “Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”
Spotify keeps the music flowing now playing, Surrender. Human is what I am and I make mistakes. Constantly I am reminded that my self worth is not based on what other people say but from the one and only true God who reigns in my life.
For the past couple of days, life has felt overwhelming and challenges have seemed insurmountable and with my anxiety climbing towards the red zone I feel like I have no control of the circumstances swirling around me.
Gwen! Stop!
As a cornerstone is designed to provide stability, I am reminded that Jesus is the reference point in my life. He is who strengthens and protects me especially when difficult circumstances present themselves. How do I know this? It’s a trust that I have established over the years that brings me back to my foundational stone knowing that God has everything under control. I know that He always has a plan. I just need to trust and believe that in His time this is all going to turn out awesome.
Isaiah 40:31 – “But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.”
Next song. Eagle’s Wings. Opening my eyes, the black screen of my laptop stares back at me. I grab my phone again because I want to know why we should be like eagles.
The normal wingspan of a bald eagle typically spans 6 to 7.5 feet. Which is why these amazing birds are capable of using wind currents to glide and soar high above storm clouds instead of fighting them on the ground. Rather than exhausting themselves through constant running or flapping, eagles catch thermal updrafts rising to high altitudes with minimal physical strain.
I want to fly above all this ridiculous noise. I’m tired of flapping my wings and running around. I want to avoid wasting my energy on petty negativity, gossip, and arguments and instead focus on what is truth.
The fact is, even though hardships are causing turbulence in my life, I can transform these difficult challenges into leverage to reach new heights rather than struggling like I am now.
“Okay Gwen, FOCUS!”
Truth, God is bigger than all that I’m experiencing now. Fact, God has NEVER left me in the dust to fend for myself. Reality, God has given me wings to rise above and soar giving me a positive attitude to squelch the fear and anxiety that wants to take me down.
In the empty office I bellow out, “I CAN DO THIS!” I feel a new energy rising within me, a confidence that all this yuckiness will pass. I now know that I can get through this with God beside me. Just like the gazillion times in my life, God unruffles my feathers and then blows warm air giving me lift under my wings so I can soar.
Maybe you’re wonder why I write blogs like this. There are many times when I need to remind myself that there is more to life than just me. There is a bigger picture that many times I forget. This is my way of guiding myself back on the right path and walking on with confidence. I can’t be the only person who has these difficulties so if you’re reading my ramblings, I hope it inspires you. Don’t stop, keep moving forward. Soar above the storm. Your day just got better.
“You can’t hang out with chickens and expect to soar with eagles.” – Proverbs
Image by Dennis Garrels on iStock
Gwen
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